When the Same Patterns Keep Showing Up

You have the same argument in different forms. The details change, but the underlying frustration feels familiar.

You want to feel closer, but conversations about sex, intimacy, or emotional connection seem to create more distance.

One of you feels like you are always asking for more. The other feels like nothing you do is ever enough.

You struggle to talk about difficult things without becoming defensive, shutting down, or saying something you regret.

You care about each other, but sometimes wonder whether you are fundamentally misunderstanding one another.

Or perhaps you are navigating a relationship transition and trying to figure out what comes next.

Understanding the Relationship Beneath the Conflict

Couples often come to therapy focused on a particular disagreement: communication, sex, trust, household responsibilities, or time together. These issues matter, but sometimes the conflict itself is only part of the story.

An argument about spending time together might be about feeling unimportant. A disagreement about sex might touch on rejection, vulnerability, or shame. One partner's need for space might feel like abandonment to the other. Over time, couples develop patterns that can become difficult to recognize from the inside.

One person pursues connection while the other pulls away. One becomes increasingly critical while the other becomes defensive. Both feel hurt, but neither feels understood.

Couples therapy can help you recognize these patterns and understand what each of you is experiencing beneath the conflict.

LGBTQ+ Couples & Open Relationship Therapy

I have a particular interest in working with gay and queer couples and partners navigating intimacy, identity, and relationship dynamics. I also work with people in open relationships, polyamorous relationships, and other forms of consensual non-monogamy (CNM). These relationships can bring up questions about jealousy, trust, autonomy, commitment, boundaries, and competing needs for closeness and independence.

You might be navigating a new relationship structure, struggling with an agreement, or trying to understand why something that seemed manageable has become emotionally complicated. I do not assume monogamy is the goal, or that every relationship should look the same. My role is to help you understand what is happening between you without imposing assumptions about what your relationship should look like.

My Approach to Couples & Relationship Therapy

My work is grounded in Relational Psychodynamic therapy and Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy. Rather than focusing exclusively on communication techniques or resolving individual disagreements, I am interested in understanding the emotional dynamics shaping your relationship.

We will explore how your experiences, expectations, vulnerabilities, and ways of relating influence what happens between you. This is not about assigning blame or deciding who is right. Often, both partners are responding to something real, even when those responses create distance.

The goal is to help you understand each other more deeply and make sense of the patterns that keep bringing you back to the same place.

You Do Not Have to Be in Crisis

You do not need to be on the verge of breaking up to benefit from couples therapy.

Sometimes the most useful time to begin is when you recognize that something is not working and want to understand it before it becomes more difficult. Whether you are navigating recurring conflict, emotional disconnection, intimacy, or questions about the future of your relationship, therapy can offer a space to explore what is happening and what you want moving forward.

Begin Couples & Relationship Therapy

Finding a therapist who understands your relationship without judgment can make a difference.

If you are looking for couples or relationship therapy in Brooklyn, New York, or New Jersey, I invite you to reach out for a free consultation.